My last two blog posts have suggested ways to notice, and then practice, aka build skill in noticing, the fact that we can feel spirit. We’ve been practicing feeling the spirit of human beings, ourselves and others. We’re really the spirit that we're beginning to feel and the being human part is only a dream. But it's such a convincing dream that feeling spirit within ourselves comes as a big surprise. What you've been experiencing is a wee bit of awakening.
You've been using your sense of touch to feel spirit, basically feeling an edge of spirit, the edge where the dream of being human meets the reality of being spirit. This is truly only an edge of spirit with much more to spirit beyond that. We’ll explore more of that more in blog posts to come, but this blog post is about another way of feeling spirit—emotionally feeling spirit.
First it helps if we understand how we can physically feel, as in touch, spirit. Well, to begin with, we are not actually physical beings and are only dreaming that we are. So our dream self is touching our real self, spirit. But also, it’s not really our physical touch—the skin of our hands—that is feeling spirit. Our physical sense of touch is only a doorway through which our consciousness dreams its experience of physical life. Instead of that we’ve simply used that doorway to seemingly touch the edge of ourselves as spirit.
Our consciousness or awareness dreams being human, dreams physicality, through six doorways. Our mind and its activity, but mostly thinking, is one doorway. The body’s five-sensory system—seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling—provides the other five doorways. We’ve been experimenting with the body’s sense of feeling. The body feels physicality via its surface layer of skin. It can feel air or heat or cold or a loved one’s touch or pretty much any thing it wants to touch. All of this we call ‘feeling.’
We also use the word 'feeling' to describe emotional experience. This double use of the word makes sense. Though we mostly notice and work with our emotions mentally, emotions are experienced by the body, felt by the body. Taking anger as an example, we might first notice anger by thinking about something making us angry. But our thinking isn’t feeling the anger; our body is. If we pay attention we will feel anger somewhere in our body like an energy or force. The same is true of sorrow or hurt or happiness or fear or any other human emotion.
So, emotions are another bodily doorway of human creativity and experience. They are also another doorway through which we can 'feel’ an edge of spirit. Recently, I experienced emotionally feeling spirit for the first time, thanks to my dad reaching out to me after his death. While I do believe that life is a dream, that we are really spirit, facing the death of my dad l found myself feeling very human, in particular experiencing intense grief. Grief is the heaviest of human emotions.
Contrasted with that grief, however, I immediately felt my dad. That is, I felt my dad feeling. I felt him feeling the emotion of joy and that emotion includes awareness of the reason why. The latter part of his human life had not been easy, nor had aging as a human been easy. He was free of that, he wasn’t a dead human being but an alive spirit being, and all the other human beings he loved and thought he lost to death were spirit beings too. Through my own emotional feeling doorway, I could feel my dad feeling joy.